


When we disco

by DarlingLilac



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: College, F/F, Falling In Love, Memories, Old Friends, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26197231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarlingLilac/pseuds/DarlingLilac
Summary: When going through some old boxes in her attic JiU finds a very sepcial box, conatining old photos from her college days. Little did she know that the girl in the pictures would make her feel so much, again. Will JiU act any different this time?
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU
Kudos: 19





	When we disco

With a gentle breath JiU blows away the layers of dust. It spreads like a cloud around her, making her almost sneeze. She lets her hand stroke away the last dust particles, leaving the metal box just as shiny as she remembers it. The dark green surface is framed by several thin lines in a warm golden color. A sudden sting hits her heart as she reads the paper stuck on the front. Right, she had almost forgotten, not about the content of the box but that she still owned it. She thought she had lost it years ago, when she moved, but apparently not. The thought of the content makes the heart beat faster. Should she open it now? Here in the attic?

JiU looks around. The room is dim, dirty and probably not the best of places to reminiscence her past. Therefore she gets up from the floor, takes her stuff and goes back into her apartment. Her thoughts are going wild inside her head, making it hard to focus on anything else but the content of the box, or rather what the content represents. 

She closes the door to her apartment and heads for the living room. The little plant and the light tray on the coffee table gets pushed aside in order to make room for the unboxing. Placed in the middle of the wooden board the box looks both sleek and elegant. JiU remembers how she bought it for the sole purpose of storing her photos, the photos she took during her college years. Once she packed them in this box she never looked at them again, afraid of the emotional ocean of melancholy that could drown her if she did. However, that was 10 years ago. She has moved on, surely she can face all those memories now, at least she hopes so.

With slightly shaky hands JiU opens the box. There they are; the pictures, the memories, her.

With a raising heartbeat she picks up the first photo. Her hands are trembling slightly. The unwanted movement makes the picture a bit blurry. Nomatter the sharpness JiU still feels the feared ocean of emotions surrounding her. It’s heat spreads throughout her whole body. Especially when locking eyes with the woman in the picture. The woman who was her best friend during the time, her, Kim Bora. Her eyes are staring right into the camera. She has just turned around to face the photographer, which was JiU herself. The flash has turned her irises red and brightens her up like the star she always was, at least according to JiU. In the background one can make out a club setting, lots of people dancing and sipping on their drinks.

JiU smiles for herself, a smile that sends comfortably warm waves though her body. If she is not mistaken she used to write a comment on all her photos. When flipping the picture she confirms her old memories. There is indeed a comment there, written with a black marker.  _ 19760910 _ . Their very first semester in college. The comment continues.  _ SuA, at Club Draken _ . Right, her friend always presented herself as SuA at informal occasions. When thinking back JiU can hardly remember any time when she had called her friend Bora, or when anyone else did either. She seemed to find most occasions informal, or so she wanted to make them at least. 

JiU let’s her gaze sweep over the old photo. This really was SuA’s prefered environment. As often as she could she went out to the discos. If none of her friends or acquaintances joined she went by herself. It was like she went into a trance when getting to swing her body to the beat of the music. Her eyes glittered and her face lit up like it never did any other timer.

The warmth in JiUs body grows even stronger at the thought of her friend's so obvious passion. She remembers how she could just stare at her dancing for hours on end. It was so captivating, fascinating, wonderful. Everytime SuA met her gaze on the dancefloor a rush of intense emotions ran through her. It became even stronger when she moved closer, almost skin to skin. When she leaned in to shout something in JiU’s ear it became a challenge to even focus the slightest on what she was trying to say. Her inside was all busy resisting the urge of wanting to kiss her, passionately press her against her own body and by actions show SuA what she really felt about her. 

JiU puts down the photo, let’s it fall down to the wooden table. No, she must not go back there, must not fall down into that hole again. It was so hard to climb up from there, she had to sacrifice so much. No way that a stupid photo is going to push her down there again! 

With a deep sigh she picks up the next photo. Once again she stares into SuAs joyful eyes. This time she is not the only one posing in the picture, JiU herself is there as well. SuA has her arm wrapped around JiU’s waist and is pulling her close to her body. When JiU meets her own gaze she falls, falls down, back into the hole. Never once did her true feelings about SuA change. For years she thought that they were dead and buried, that her feelings were no more. However, as she stares into the eyes of her old self, all of those feelings emerge from the deepest parts of her mind. 

No, no, no! This was not what she wanted, it’s rather the exact opposite.

While breathing fast JiU leans back on the sofa. She sinks into the soft cushion as she feels the warmth in her body turn into absolut storming heat. 

What should she do now when she’s back at square one? No, not square one, minus 100 squares. Because she no longer has any contact with SuA, and so it has been for years. JiU has no idea of what SuA is doing these days, not where she lives or even if she is still alive.

Staring blankly into the wall she feels the heat getting to her. As if struck by lightning JiU raises from her seat. She knows what she has to do, and if she doesn’t, then she’ll explode. Because this time she just can’t suppress her feelings. She used all her strength the first time, now she has nothing left to fight with.

On light feet she goes out to the hall. In a drawer she stores her public number phone catalogue. SuA must have her number somewhere in there. JiU won’t accept anything else.

She brings it back into the living room and sits down on the sofa. Her eyes are wandering all over the list of people with Kim as their last name. Why are they so many? 

She let her finger run over the rows of tiny letters. It’s hard to read properly and she has to go slower in order to not miss anyone. With a racing heartbeat she reads through the 

list of people with the Kim lastname and a first name starting with a B. Hopefully she hasn’t changed her last name. The thought makes her hand shake slightly as it wanders over the pages. Then she stucks gold. Kim Bora. Apparently there are several people with that name. Well, then it is just to call everyone until she finds the one, until she finds her SuA.

She calls three people before even getting close to her old friend, her loved one. On her fourth try a man pics up the phone and answers with a breathy voice. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, my name is Kim Minji, I am looking for Kim Bora.” She says with a voice as steady as she can muster.

“She is not at home right now. Shall I tell her to call you back when she comes home?”

JiU turns silent for a second. “I don’t think she has my number. In fact, I don’t even know if I have the right number. I am looking for an old friend of mine, we went to college together.”

Through the phone she can hear a high pitched scream, it sounds like a baby’s vine. The man seems to turn away from the phone because his voice gets lower and she cannot make out what he is saying.

“Hello?” She says once more to make sure he is still available. 

“Well, my wife did go to college, you might have gotten the right number. I can take yours and give it to her if you like?”

JiU almost drops her phone. Wife? His wife is not home. If this is the SuA she is looking for, does that mean she is married? And was that child she heard in the background her child? Does she have her very own family? A house? A flourishing career? A life very different from JiUs?

“Should I give her your number?” The man repeats.

With a quick head shake JiU is back in reality, at least enough to answer the stranger's question.

“That would be lovely.” She says and gives him her number. After hanging up she falls down to the floor. With her hands pressed against the cold floor she takes a deep breath. Of course, what did she think? That SuA would just wait for her to confess? Halt her life for 10 years just in case JiU would gather enough courage? Of course not! SuA if anyone would like to continue living life in her own way. 

With her nerves almost on the outside JiU starts wandering through her apartment. She dishes, puts her clothes in the laundry machine and even starts dusting all her shelves. To distract herself she turns on some music, but somehow all the songs make her think about SuA. Most of the songs on her playlist are dance friendly, which reminds her of SuAs big passion. In her mind she pictures SuAs swift movements, her easy steps and confident aura. How she used to roll her hips so smoothly and how her arms and shoulders always moved without even the slightest bit of tension. The disco lights always complimented her sparkling outfits and made her face look fascinatingly mysterious. It was only at the disco she looked at JiU with those eyes, those eyes who captivated her, who put a spell on her, a spell that she is now trapped in again. How she wishes she could look into those eyes once more, if so for only one night. That would light her up, light up her otherwise so gray and loomy life. 

Just like that, the phone rings. The sound is loud and echoes through the hall and out into the kitchen were JiU just finished emptying her dishwasher. In a flash she is out there, grabbing a hold of the phone. She lifts it up and puts it to her ear. Slightly out of breath and with nerves living a life of their own she answers.

“Hello, it's JiU.”

“Ahh!” A female voice screeches from the other end. JiU is forced to keep the phone at a distance in order not to turn deaf. At the same time she can’t help but to grin widely, because the screech is so very familiar. Dear, dear SuA. You called. Finally, finally, finally.

“I can't believe you called.” SuA continues on the other end. Her voice is high pitched and clearly full of excitement. 

“Well, I did.” JiU laughs and as doing so the tension in her muscles goes away. She has rediscovered her sacred place, her home.

“It has been so many years since I last heard from you.” SuA says in her rapid voice. “How are you doing? Where do you live? How is your health?”

JiU laughs at the many questions. The excited and high energized SuA seems to still exist, how comforting.

They continue talking over the phone for almost an hour before SuA excuses herself, saying that she has house maintenance to deal with. While saying their goodbyes JiU feels something grow rapidly inside of her, something that makes her feel uneasy, and slightly nauseous. It’s running faster and faster until it crashes in her consciousness. It explodes and all its particles rain down over her. She knows what she has to do now. It’s just to jump and hope that she lands on the other side.

“Wait!” She exclaims.

“Yes?” SuA answers.

Okay, one, two, three. Jump! “Would you like to meet up someday?”

It goes completely silent on the other end. Oh, no! What if she doesn’t want to? What if she only talked to her all this time because that’s what’s expected of her, not because she actually enjoyed it? 

JiU’s heart races like crazy, as if it’s about to burst any second now. If SuA doesn’t give her an answer within the nearest second she’s gonna faint.

“Of course I would.” SuAs voice echoes from the other end.

With those words said JiU sinks down to the floor. Her back is pressed against the 

wall and she breathes heavily. All those worries were for nothing. SuA hasn’t changed a bit. She is still the same lovable and honest person.

After having decided a time and place to meet they hang up. The world is spinning for her gaze, which makes it hard to walk straight. But she can’t help it. Giving in to the emotions of her past self really drained her of energy. Still she doesn't feel the least tired. Her mind constantly digs up old pictures from her college time, from her time with SuA. Clear as crystal she views them, relieves them. But when the night comes and she is laying in her bed, the darker memories haunt her down. She might have gathered enough courage to ask her for a meeting, but she still failed to confess her true feelings. 

But what would that have looked like? It would probably have been seen as weird if she did so during their first conversation in 10 years. However, the next time she won’t have the same excuse to rely on. Especially not since SuA seems to be no different from before, and back then they could talk about everything.

With a big sigh JiU rolls over to her back. She remains laying there, staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. When it dawns she still hasn’t slept one minute. As the sunlight caresses her now sleepy face she makes the decision. She is going to tell SuA when they meet, no matter any made up excuse. She has to do it. Otherwise she can’t go on with her life, and that she has to. She is over 30 now and still has done none of the things she dreamed of as a college student. It is time to let go of her old self and instead live as the one she wants to be. Confessing to SuA is the only way to achieve that.


End file.
